Feeling tense..

I am such a panic merchant.

I cant help it but I am seriously worried about stupid old swine flu.

Having a child that has seizures at even a whiff of a fever is making me turn into an anxious, hand wringing old worry wart.

I yell at the kids if they touch the handrail on the escalators..."are you CRAZY?? Swine flu, swine flu!!". Sure, they might fall and crack open their skulls by not hanging on but at least they aint going to get it.

I have wipes, hand sanitizer, bleach and full body suits in my handbag..well, maybe not the bodysuits but only because they wont fit.

Fuck you swine flu, why did you have to give me grey hair and stomach ulcers?

Craziness abounds...

So things have been a bit stressful around here of late.

I blame the heat, the economy, the crazy notion that taking two kids away on holiday would be relaxing..Madness I tell you, madness!

What I would really like is just a couple of hours a day to myself when I can just veg, read a book, stare at the ceiling, contemplate my naval, you know, important stuff, without someone AT me about something.

I told my kids I am changing my name to supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and would only answer to that when accompanied by a series of high kicks and the running man.
Damn husband taught the little blighters how to do it didn't he and then had the gall to lay on the couch with a smug grin while the spawns followed me around the house screaming it at the top of their lungs while doing maniac boy band'esque dance moves.

I could do my 'nothing' while the spawns are having their afternoon nap and I admit I DO have a lie down now and then (well, every afternoon if Im being completely honest with you dear reader) but there is always that nagging voice in my head whispering 'dust, vacuum, clean the blinds, hang out the laundry etc etc'.
I can normally silence that bitch with a swift karate chop to the throat and a couple of scorched almonds but shes never completely gone and I can picture her looking at me accusingly while she limps back to the recesses of my brain.

My friend thinks all us 'modern young women' must be out of our minds with stress just trying to keep up with life. God love her, shes a child of the 60's and swears by transcendental meditation and a good spliff. Maybe shes right, I should just get some whale music and pot and call it good.

Either that or hire a nanny, chef, cleaner, chauffeur, personal assistant, Pool boy (Hellloooooooo Paulo!) and laundry maid.

Good idea.

Dr's appointments, specialists, waiting, stressing, here we go again..

So.

Millie has had two seizures in the last couple of months. The last one, last week, she fell off her chair face first onto the ground.
That was pretty scary, she bit a chunk out of her tongue poor mite.
Both were while she was sick but that brings the total up to around 11 seizures in about 3 years. Too many for them to just say febrile convulsions with a swish of their hands.

Sigh...

We have been referred back to Dr Antony (Top pediatric neurologist) who she saw for her ptosis, have to have another EEG done with another Dr in Lindfield, a metabolic urine screen to rule out any other weirdo nasty sydndromes and then hopefully, hopefully we will be done with Drs.

I am praying in a way that they say she has Epilepsy because if so, we have a diagnosis and its done.
Im still super worried and cant help imagining all sorts of scary scenarios. Her pupil sizes have been quite differant of late and Im sure some Dr at some stage said thats to do with her ptosis but I am still so paranoid its giving me stomach ulcers.

We are all almost over this dreaded bott that seems to have taken us all out for the count. Millie and I still have a pack a day cough each which is driving everyone crazy. Thanks very much pilgrims, please keep your religious fervour and consumption away from my family and I please?

Thankyou.

When life kicks you in the nuts....

This is what gets me through..





We had our photos from Luisa back today. Just in time to remind me about all that is good in the world.

I feel for those that do not have a good relationship with their families, it is the most important thing in my life and I am very blessed to have great kids and husband, awesome parents and extended family.

Hug your kids tight and kiss them until they squeak, they wont be little for long.

Anxiety...

So I have a trip planned back home to see the family with the kids in a couple of weeks (10 sleeps actually, Spawn #1 and I counted this morning).
Its just me and the kiddos....in an airport...on a plane, no husband to lug stuff and do silly dances to get kids to eat (I find myself in a trance as he contorts, cartwheels and struts to amuse them myself actually!)

Im thinking of ordering some go go gadget arms on alchemy so I can boing them out to the other end of the boarding lounge as one child tries to go duty free shopping and the other sets up camp under a Japanese tourist's chair whilst still keeping an eye on the bags, car seat and balancing a mountain of snacks on my head sherpa style.

Once we are on the plane Im tossing up between Hannibal Lector type restraints for the 4 year old or a good ol dose of phenergan to just knock her out. The people in front will be so glad, she has great seat kicking abilities that one.
Number 2 will be safely stowed in the over head locker...wait..I mean buckled into her car seat so apart from shrieking like a banshee she wont be able to actually get up and try to open the door or anything.

At the other end Ive asked for some assistance to disembark and collect my luggage. Last time I travelled with just #1 on my own this was great, we had our very own airport 'official' (Read pervy old grandfather volunteer type that had his eyes on my, at the time, pregnant bousairs the whole time) It was worth putting up with the lecherous old trout to cut the queue.

I must ring up and organise that again and note to self...wear booby top on plane..

Damn Easter Bunny...

Do you know how many times Ive had to replace the kids easter eggs because SOMEONE (ie me) keeps getting stuck into them late at night while mindlessly surfing the net.

I am disgusted in myself (so is my arse)

Thank the goddess this time tomorrow easter will almost be over...and I'll have to just eat my way through the kids pile because...you know...chocolate's bad for kids

Watching the rain..

Just had to share this pic of my two from a couple of days ago.

I happened upon the two of them staring out the door into the rain...I guess its been a few days since they could get outside lol!

Damn Im tired...

Why is it that the end of the year sees me rendered unconscious by 8.00 pm every night?
Really, as a stay at home mum or as I prefer to be called, domestic goddess, one day pretty much blends in to the next so it seems strange that I am so bloody buggared come Xmas.
I can hardly blame the festive carousing that used to happen pre spawns of Satan, the most exciting night out for me these days is a stroll around the block to look at the Xmas lights. Considering it doesn't get dark here until 8.30pm and I make the kids do an olympic style speed walk to make sure they stick to their schedules and are in bed by 7.30, it does seem kind of pointless. Nevertheless, routines are there for a reason right? ...right?

Spawn #1: But Mummy, I cant see any lights?
Me: well, its because its not dark silly billy
Spawn #1: So why are we going for a walk to look at the lights?
Me: Shut up and eat your no sugar, no fat, no taste soy icecream

Schedules, Routines, Timetables, must stick to them, musnt get kids out of whack, cant let them stay up and eat shit or they'll be a mess tomorrow, stress stress stress

No wonder Im bloody exhausted.

Organisation or lack thereof...

So I am normally a pretty organised person.

I know where my keys are, I remember birthdays, I can always find the remote but today I did the dumbest thing and Im still kicking myself for it.

I had bought a spot on the storque showcase on Etsy for tomorrow. This morning I got up, made a bottle for my baby, sat down to feed her and check my emails and Etsy as is my normal morning ritual. I thought I'd click on the showcase just to see what was happening and lo and behold, I see one of my pieces winking at me!

ARGH!! I wanted to clean up my shop and list a new necklace before my showcase spot!
I'd stuffed up the whole timezone thing and my messy shop had been flaunting itself all over the showcase for hours while I snoozed blissfully unaware.

In full panic mode I propped kids in front of the telly, shoved something in front of them (it may of may not have been edible) and proceeded to quietly have a meltdown while I frantically fussed about and listed my necklace and changed the order of my featured items about 10 times.

After an hour or so my 3 year old tapped me on the shoulder "Mum, can we have something to eat now? Claudias getting sick of gumming the remote control"

Oops.