So things have been a bit stressful around here of late.
I blame the heat, the economy, the crazy notion that taking two kids away on holiday would be relaxing..Madness I tell you, madness!
What I would really like is just a couple of hours a day to myself when I can just veg, read a book, stare at the ceiling, contemplate my naval, you know, important stuff, without someone AT me about something.
I told my kids I am changing my name to supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and would only answer to that when accompanied by a series of high kicks and the running man.
Damn husband taught the little blighters how to do it didn't he and then had the gall to lay on the couch with a smug grin while the spawns followed me around the house screaming it at the top of their lungs while doing maniac boy band'esque dance moves.
I could do my 'nothing' while the spawns are having their afternoon nap and I admit I DO have a lie down now and then (well, every afternoon if Im being completely honest with you dear reader) but there is always that nagging voice in my head whispering 'dust, vacuum, clean the blinds, hang out the laundry etc etc'.
I can normally silence that bitch with a swift karate chop to the throat and a couple of scorched almonds but shes never completely gone and I can picture her looking at me accusingly while she limps back to the recesses of my brain.
My friend thinks all us 'modern young women' must be out of our minds with stress just trying to keep up with life. God love her, shes a child of the 60's and swears by transcendental meditation and a good spliff. Maybe shes right, I should just get some whale music and pot and call it good.
Either that or hire a nanny, chef, cleaner, chauffeur, personal assistant, Pool boy (Hellloooooooo Paulo!) and laundry maid.