Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Relief

So I went in today.I had myself so worked up I had to stop at the chemist and buy myself some rescue remedy before i even went up the stairs.

She got me all stirruped up, spent ages poking around and having a look and then came and put her hand on my leg and said.."I have to tell you, your cervix....................."*heart stops, mouth goes dry, wee runs down leg (or up leg as it were)*....Looks absolutely perfect!!

Gotta love a gyno that likes to build a bit of suspense

Anyway, she didn't even bother wanting a biopsy as there was nothing to hack out. Apparantly cervical cells change all the time and this is normal and healthy but I have an unusually large patch of these cells and the PAP must have been done while they were on the change.

So.

I am so goddamn relieved, I had to have several cigs before I could drive and my hands were shaking for ages afterwards. I am such a geek.I have to make a dentist appointment soon so stay tuned for the next installment of "Australian Drama Queen"

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Family Reunions...

FSM bless the information superhighway!


I have recently been very fortunate to be reunited with my huge extended family overseas.

Thanks to the internet (more importantly facebook!) I was found by one of my cousins and am now in regular contact with a huge array of rellies that I haven't seen since I was 12 or so.


It amazes me how much I have in common with these guys, genetics aside, we have grown up on completely differant continents and had virtually no contact but I find myself giggling at their status updates, marvelling over their photos and suprising myself with the values and ideas I seem to share with many of them.


I guess this must be a little bit like what an adopted child feels when they meet their birth families for the first time. Most of my cousins have grown up knowing each other, spending holidays and family events together while my brother and I were on the other side of the world, just us on our lonesome! We knew we had this huge tribe of people in the USA and England but didn't know them at all.


Now I just have to start saving (really really hard), I so want to get over there and meet them all and say Kia Ora Cuzzie! :p




Monday, August 17, 2009

Restless..

Last night I just couldn't sit still.

Nothing on tv was interesting, I didn't want to read, didn't want to be on the computer. I just didn't know what to do with myself.

I went to bed and lay in the dark for hours and hours.

I had my hand on my stomach and worried and wondered and questioned.

Could this cervix that had bore me two children with no problems, that WORKED properly, be about to make my world come crashing down? The words 'high grade squamous lesion' played over and over in my head like a stuck record.

Did you know squamous means scaley? Who knew? I thought it meant cancerous but no, it just means scaly. Like a lizard or a dragon or a snake.

I said to my husband last night that Im so glad its me. That I would take the worst case scenario as long as the universe keeps up its side of the bargain and my daughter never has another health problem until she is an old woman.

As I lay in bed I also started thinking bizarre thoughts like..I want to move house. Ever since we have been married and moved into this house our family has had health problems. Between my daughter, my husband and now me, its been a rollercoaster for the last few years.
Yep, if I move house it will change everything :p

I am refusing to talk to anyone about it. My Mum rings me with a false sing song cheer in her voice and it makes me want to bawl. Its 5 weeks until the colposcopy and then probably a couple of weeks until I get the results back.

I KNOW I'm being obsessive and ridiculous. I am sure everything will be fine.

But lying awake at night, not being able to switch of my mind, I cant help the thoughts that pop into my head.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Well crap...

Possible high-grade squamous lesion

Exclude cin2 or 3

Hmm, they are not words you want your GP telling you when you go to get your results for your lady tests.

Ya know, google is not always a good thing. I have spent most of this morning ignoring my kids and FREAKING the fuck out about cervical cancer after searching for the above terms.

I am sure I am fine. I will go for the colposcopy and it will come back A-OK. But jesus tap dancing christ, I was shocked to hear my lovely doctor tell me those words. You just dont expect to hear them right?

So now I have to wait until the 22nd of sep to go have another dr staring up places that no person should be staring up. After two kids, you would think I would be over having people stare up my clacker but I still find it incredibly violating and cringe worthy.

In the meantime, I have a trip to the Gold Coast planned to take my mind of it. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me will ya?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Karma is a bitch...and shes coming to bite you on the ass

You know who you are.

You know who you've hurt.

I would like to think you will do the right thing but Im sure more lies will spew forth from your diseased mind.

You are completely delusional and unstable and I hope to hell you get the fuck out of our lives for good.

I hate you.

Goodbye and good riddance.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Feeling tense..

I am such a panic merchant.


I cant help it but I am seriously worried about stupid old swine flu.


Having a child that has seizures at even a whiff of a fever is making me turn into an anxious, hand wringing old worry wart.


I yell at the kids if they touch the handrail on the escalators..."are you CRAZY?? Swine flu, swine flu!!". Sure, they might fall and crack open their skulls by not hanging on but at least they aint going to get it.


I have wipes, hand sanitizer, bleach and full body suits in my handbag..well, maybe not the bodysuits but only because they wont fit.


Fuck you swine flu, why did you have to give me grey hair and stomach ulcers?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

New things...

Some newbies from moi! Click on the links to be taken directly to my Etsy store to see all the deets.





















I am loving Prehnite at the moment. It has the most beautiful milky green glow. Yum.


Red coral flower earrings with hand hammered oxidised sterling silver hoops













There is nothing better than gritty hammered sterling silver, especially when oxidised. It gives it such a nice grungy organic feel. Here I've paired it with striking blood red coral flowers.


Gothic fairytale necklace with real brass hand mirror, brass rose with red crystal and etched chain


I was THRILLED when I found this awesome brass hand mirror, its nice and heavy and the glass is the real deal. Kind of creepy but very stylish, I love how gothic and camp this necklace has become!

And the winner is....Obama!


You might think Im a bit late with the announcement but I am in fact talking about the most searched for image on the net.

Barack Obama featured as the number one search followed by Miley Cyrus, the Jonas brothers, some other rap super star that I have never heard of. Veerrrryyy interesting.


And cool.


Because now I get to put a picture of the big fella on my blog.


And I quite like him :D

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Things I love on Etsy

SO, I've just been going through my faves on Etsy and thought I'd share them with you.

There is SUCH an awesome amount of talent on this little corner of the world wide web..


How cool is this?! Doesn't everyone need a blackboard ring?!




























Seriously, the funniest seller on Etsy. I sometimes spend a good half hour just looking at all her listings and chortling to myself.


The most incredible jewellery made with luminous lovely treasures from the sea.

I have to list two photos as I cant decide which is more pretty..



























































Thursday, April 23, 2009

The infinite sadness



I've been feeling a bit down lately. I blame the recession, the weather, turning on the nightly news.



These awesome artists seem to have captured my mood perfectly.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Weeheyyyyy! Supplies are here..

And you know what that means my lovelies? New prettys :)

Golden Bubbles











This sold straight away but I have another one to list today, just need to get out the liver of sulphur for a nice patina and she'll be good to go..

May the bluebird of happiness poop on your head - Oxidised Sterling Silver, coral, turquoise and Swarovski pearl wire wrapped necklace














Im on a bit of a streak, so more to come :)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Whoooo are you? who who,who who

So my little lovelies, where are you all coming from?

According to my blog patrol stats you are pouring in from every which way at the moment. Hurrah! I love it :)

If any of you have a spare 2 seconds, I would really appreciate a quick comment to let me know how you found me, the increase in hits is astonishing and I cant tell where you are coming from and well, Im nosy :)

Monday, April 13, 2009

Newbies!

I am waiting on a HUGE bunch of supplies that will hopefully arrive today! In the meantime, here are a couple of my newbies :)

Molly - Filigree locket necklace



I love these beautiful filigree lockets. They are so pretty and can be featured on lots of different styles.





I recently sold this one which I love and plan on making again. Using creamy swarovski pearls (my new guilty pleasure!) and a filigree lotus with a pearl centrepiece.












These have both sold too but I have some more of this gorgeous flashy moonstone and cant wait to make some more!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Oh good lord....Its a road trip!

So one of my oldest girlfriends is getting hitched (old as in I've known her since I was 13, not as in SHES old) and Im heading back to Aotearoa for the wedding.

Another friend and I are turning it into a bit of a Thelma and Louise weekend (sans cliff diving and unfortunately, probably sans Brad Pitt) with a road trip, plenty of booze, catching up with all our old friends, dancing on tables and generally making a total disgrace of ourselves :D

These are the girls I have grown up with, my sisters and my comrades.

We have laughed together, cried together, torn strips off each other and punched other peoples lights out for each other!

We have drifted all over the world, seen each other through broken relationships, births of children and career crises's. We have gone through stages of not seeing or speaking to each other for years but put us all in the same room with a few bottles of cheap wine and its like we are 14 and headbanging to Guns N Roses together again!

So, Louise, Heres to your big day, I cant wait to see you on Saturday in your meringue!

Cola, Jasmine, Nicola and Pam, I love you guys with all my secret bogan heart xxx

Friday, March 20, 2009

The cult of Pandora

I recently had the unfortunate experience of being in a jewellers that specialised in Pandora jewellery. Now, before you go thinking Im a crazed loon for not jumping on the Pandora bandwagon, I state for the record that I quite like the rings and my girlfriend recently showed me a simple leather necklace that wasn't bad but the bracelets...??

Lord give me strength...

If there was ever a mindless, boring, unimaginative suburban housewife craze, then this would be it. I watched these women pour over these beads, practically foaming at the mouth and working out ways they could sneakily add to their collection without their husbands finding out they had spent hundreds of dollars on a bead.

I. dont. understand.

It makes me sad in my jewellery place.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

early midlife crisis?

So yesterday, I was at the mall with Spawn #1 birthday present shopping for one of her little buddies when we passed the piercing shop and I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to have a possibly tattooed and hep c positive stranger, shove a sharp instrument through a sensitive part of my body.

The sign outside the shop advertised 'no anaesthetic, pain free piercing'

'Pain free?' thought I..'thats for a sook like me'

Upon approaching the counter I realised the 'piercer' was all of about 12 and peppered her sentances with OMG's and Like so many times I almost walked out but Spawn was looking up at me, big eyed, like I was the bravest lady in all the land so I handed over my credit card and tried not to pass out.

Junior Piercy mc piercer soon had me flat on my back out the back (It usually takes at least a glass of wine to get me in that state) and with a quick sharp screw of her needle, I had a nose stud and was good to go.

Apart from a moment of watery eyes, I couldn't believe how quick and easy it was and best of all spawn thought I was super cool.

Now I get to shop for some nose studs on Etsy, here are a couple of my faves so far!



Tiny Nose Screw by AutumnEquinox



Tiny Blossom Nose Screw - FREE SHIPPING by Gemma Factrix

Friday, January 30, 2009

Getting creative...

Just a few newbies from moi..

Micheline Rose


Azure



Salam

Fashion Commentary Whizzes!

I happened across this awesome blog through a twitter link!

Hilariously funny with fab links and comments on everything from Michelle Obama to removing your pubic hair!

PlushJunkie


Go check it out now...run!!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Craziness abounds...

So things have been a bit stressful around here of late.

I blame the heat, the economy, the crazy notion that taking two kids away on holiday would be relaxing..Madness I tell you, madness!

What I would really like is just a couple of hours a day to myself when I can just veg, read a book, stare at the ceiling, contemplate my naval, you know, important stuff, without someone AT me about something.

I told my kids I am changing my name to supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and would only answer to that when accompanied by a series of high kicks and the running man.
Damn husband taught the little blighters how to do it didn't he and then had the gall to lay on the couch with a smug grin while the spawns followed me around the house screaming it at the top of their lungs while doing maniac boy band'esque dance moves.

I could do my 'nothing' while the spawns are having their afternoon nap and I admit I DO have a lie down now and then (well, every afternoon if Im being completely honest with you dear reader) but there is always that nagging voice in my head whispering 'dust, vacuum, clean the blinds, hang out the laundry etc etc'.
I can normally silence that bitch with a swift karate chop to the throat and a couple of scorched almonds but shes never completely gone and I can picture her looking at me accusingly while she limps back to the recesses of my brain.

My friend thinks all us 'modern young women' must be out of our minds with stress just trying to keep up with life. God love her, shes a child of the 60's and swears by transcendental meditation and a good spliff. Maybe shes right, I should just get some whale music and pot and call it good.

Either that or hire a nanny, chef, cleaner, chauffeur, personal assistant, Pool boy (Hellloooooooo Paulo!) and laundry maid.

Good idea.