Well maybe thats a 'slight' exaggeration but oh my, I am a miserable shit at the moment.
A couple of months ago I kicked my dreadful nicotine habit and then got the bright idea that I should now get in shape also.
Bad idea, terrible, the worst in the world.
I joined the gym a couple of weeks ago and felt very superior as I drove there in my shiny new trainers and bouncy gym type hairstyle. I sneered at the fatties waiting at the bus stop and brilliantly ignored the ever expanding brioche that was threatening to overlap my seat belt.
20 minutes on the treadmill, hooray!
15 minutes on the bike, huzzah!
a few ladylike crunches down in the weights room, I was going to be trim, taut and terrific in no time.
I chirpily signed up for my 3 sessions with the personal trainer and was very excited last thursday when my assessment with Christiaaaaaaaannnnn took place.
So, I could only do 10 push ups, 14 sit ups and was puffing and sweating like a cheap knockhouse whore after 3 minutes of stepping up and down on one of those frightful little boxes but Im sure thats about normal for my age (all of 32) right??
WRONG WRONG WRONG!!
I went back today for my results and was shocked to my very wobbly core to find out I have a fitness age of 45 years old!!!
Some stats for your reading pleasure..
Body fat: 22% - 21 years old (must admit feel a little bit smirky about that)
Flexibility: 15cm - 18 years old (hee hee)
upper body and core strength: 56 years old (er, not so good)
but the very worst of it...
78 year old.
Oh. My. Freakin. God.
Im going to hide in a corner with a creme filled donut if anyones looking for me.